Social Commentary, Top 10

Top 10 Tips: How To Raise Resilient Children

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Last week, I was very much tempted to write about the attacks that occurred in Paris, the horrendous tragedy, and how it has touched so many people I know. This blog was originally conceived as a way of escapism when I was faced with adversity and I had always wanted to keep it slightly surreal and fictionalised in the NHYM world. But we really are living in a time of high alert and we are all a bit more nervous than before that it would be impossible for me to ignore what is going on. So, to keep this post on a positive note and instead of just feeling helpless, it has led me to research and write about how we can teach our children resilience.

We all think that all we want is for our children to be ‘happy’ but this is too simplistic when reality will throw traumas, tragedies, and disappointments at us, some of which are out of our control. We, as parents, instinctively want to protect our children, but there comes a point when we can no longer protect them. What we can do, is to teach them resilience and how to bounce back from life’s challenges.

Here’s a round up of my Top 10 Tips on How To Raise Resilient Children: 

(researched on the internet and parenting books)

  1. Don’t accommodate every need: If children are never exposed to uncomfortable situations, they will never learn from them and how to handle being in such situations. Minor uncomfortable situations will teach them flexibility and how to react positively.
  2. Avoid eliminating all risks: Allow appropriate risks for them to learn their own limits.
  3. Teach them to problem solve: You won’t always be there to solve their problems. Teach them how to go through the process of solving a problem to equip them with their own problem solving skills.
  4. Don’t provide all the answers: Don’t immediately rush to answer all the questions your child may have. Show them how to answer their own questions, promoting inquisitive minds and how they can answer their own questions.
  5. Let your kids make mistakes: Failure can be a good thing (but not too much!). It teaches them that failure is OK and that they can learn from their mistakes. See it as a growth and learning experience rather than as a negative experience. We all make mistakes, and it is important to children to know that it is Ok to make them.
  6. Help manage their emotions: Teach your children that emotions are OK, but that you have to figure out what to do next and how to manage them. For example, if they are upset at a friend, try to teach them to tolerate the emotions but that they will pass.
  7. Model Resiliency: Try to show them resiliency and be calm and consistent. We could probably all learn from this list.
  8. Determine your child’s strengths and develop them: Rather than focussing on their weaknesses, build on their strengths for them to build their confidence and know that they have their own unique talents and strengths.
  9. Build their coping skills: Everyone will face a situation when things aren’t going their way. Teach them to accept things that he/she cannot change, normalise their experience and let them know that they will get over it and get stronger from it. Positivity is also a helpful.
  10. Teach children to be independent but seek help when needed: There comes a point in each child’s life when they will no longer have their parent at their side every moment of the day to support, cheer, and help but that they can ask for help when they need it.

So, in these times of stress, what we can do is teach our young children to become resilient, leading them to become resilient and strong adults. Let me know if there are ways you have helped to build your children’s resilience.

xx

NHYM

http://www.nottinghillyummymummy.com

@NHyummymummy

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How to choose a school? Top Notting Hill Schools

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I have received a number of emails from mothers asking me questions about schools; from how to get in, to how to choose a school, to what to wear in the interview (!) and also asking me to write up a review on schools in West London/Notting Hill. They felt that it would be very informative and that it would be helpful for mothers going through the process of choosing a school. So here goes. This is a work-in-progress-post, and I will be adding to it so feel free to send me your opinions on the below schools.

As we all know, choosing a school for your child after nursery can be a head-throbbing, stomach-twisting, heart-pounding experience. So, how does one choose a school? Its proximity? Its Leavers Results? Like-minded parents? Co-ed vs Single Sex? Adorable uniforms? Every parent has his/her own agendas and desires (Pushy Parent vs. Laid Back Parent, Academic Parent vs Artsy Parent, Bling vs. Hippy, location, location, location etc…) and it is very subjective. Parents can have a completely different opinion on the same school.

To preface this post, I am reviewing schools that I think are all great. I would happily send my child to any of them, but I am here to give more nuanced opinions from various mums who have been through the process and to help new mums make informed decisions. So I am including mostly pros and some cons.  This is meant to be a positive and helpful exercise rather than a critical one, but I can’t just gush about all of them like in Tatler’s School Guide http://www.tatler.com/guides/schools-guide/2016.

In Alphabetical Order

Bassett House:

http://www.bassetths.org.uk

Bassett House is a great little school in North Kensington that may be considered ‘less pushy’ than some of the other competitive schools in the area. For the parents who are not too keen on Oxbridge and the bling that some of the other schools may have, it is a good alternative. There is less pressure and parents here are probably more down-to-earth, and less intense about competition. For those who want a school that is more relaxed than some of the others, this may be a good choice. It still gets pretty good results, and children go off to good schools, but here it isn’t all about St. Paul’s/Oxbridge/The Ivys.

Chepstow House: 

http://www.chepstowhouseschool.co.uk/Admissions/

A relatively new school from the Alpha Plus Group, it is gaining popularity as we speak. One of its greatest qualities is that it is a co-ed school that strives academically, trying to build a reputation to equal Wetherby’s. It is still finding its feet, but based on the most recent results, it is doing well. As a new school, it does have the pressure of ‘proving itself’ and therefore is known to have 1 hour of homework marathons starting from Reception. It does prepare the boys for the 7+ exams and needs to show that it can do the same as Wetherby. Some feel that it is a ‘big’ school with 4 classes per year and is still growing into itself, but many of the parents and children are very happy. Other parents do feel that it is still ‘experimental’ but that in 5 years time after it has found its feet, it will be one of the schools to watch. It is considered less ‘bling’ at the moment than its sister schools Wetherby/Pembridge, but I think this will soon change.

Fox’s:

http://www.fox.rbkc.sch.uk

Everyone should want a place at Fox’s. It is after all one of the best state schools in the country and is often at the top of League Tables. The children are happy, down to earth and there is an exciting curriculum which includes beekeeping and jazz. There, the children can mix with all backgrounds, which can teach your children a thing or two about real life. Oh and did I mention that it’s free! Well, almost free, you just have to move within two feet of the school to even be considered. The biggest drawback about this school is that you have to literally live on the school’s street to get a place. Some parents buy a flat around the corner to get a place, even if they don’t plan on living there, just to get a spot. So if you are ready to move/buy around Notting Hill Gate, this school is one to be considered. Some parents do mention though that if you ever want your children to go private at some point, this school does not prepare for the private school examinations and this will be need to be done with the help of a tutor.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education/leaguetables/11288485/Fox-Primary-School-comes-top-for-a-second-year-running.html

Norland Place:

http://www.norlandplace.com

In the heart of Holland Park, Norland Place is a favourite and no-brainer for those who live in the area. It is a good, traditional, English school that is non-selective and highly over-subscribed. It is important to bear in mind that it is only co-ed for the first few years: the classes are split after Year 2 into girls and boys classes, where the boys are ‘honed’ for the 8+ exams, whereas the girls continue on until the 11+ exams. It has good leaver’s results for the boys going to Colet Court and Westminster Under and girls going Godolphin and Latymer. Some parents say it has a very ‘English feel’ to it, so if you are a proper Anglophile, Norland is a great place to go.

Notting Hill Prep:

http://www.nottinghillprep.com

Calling itself the ‘thinking school,’ Notting Hill Prep prides itself on being different than many of the schools in the neighbourhood. Slow and easy settling in period in Reception? Check. No homework for the first year? Check. Learn reading whenever you want to read? Check. So for parents who are less interested in rote learning and are Montessori-Mad, this is a good alternative to many of the hothouses in London. It is not for the neurotic parent who likes structure and routine or those with Oxbridge as their sole goal in mind, but more for parents who are a bit more laid back and shall we say it, cool? The Artsy Crowd is all about NHP; fashion designers, actors, musicians etc… love it there and there is a big emphasis on Drama and the Arts. Until recently, it was thought that NHP didn’t prepare the children enough for the exams into top private schools and those who wanted to prepare them would have to resort to private tutors, but I hear from the inside that they are upping their game. So, for a holistic approach to teaching, hipster/organic parents, NHP is a nurturing, happy environment.

Pembridge Hall:

http://www.pembridgehall.co.uk

Oh the uniform. Half of the parents at this school choose it purely based on sartorial choices. The girls with their red and white plaid dresses, elfin hats and boater hats are heart-melting. It is single sex, which some may not like as much and some say this can lead to cliques and bitch-fests, but the head says that that happens everywhere and the teachers say that it helps the girls’ concentration not to have boisterous boys around. It went through some ups and downs with the previous head, but the new-ish head is genuinely interested and invested and promises a school that is not ‘girly’ and is putting more emphasis on sports. Of course, there are still cooking and sewing after school activities, but the girls do enjoy them. Some parents feel that it doesn’t prepare the girls for the real world and that they live in a ‘bubble,’ but academically, it does very well as a first-come, first serve, non-selective school, getting 6 girls into St. Paul’s last year and into other top London schools without the hassle of the assessment at 3 yo like Glendower and Falkner, but getting comparable results. In the same conversation, you could hear one parent saying it’s not academic enough and another saying it is too pushy, depending on who you talk to. Generally, it is a very popular girls school in the neighbourhood if you are looking at single sex education that is full of locals, and thus very international.

Thomas’ Kensington:

http://www.thomas-s.co.uk/Kensington-Home

This is another very popular day school that parents just love. It is apparently very difficult to get in, with something like 11 spots for boys and 11 spots for girls in Reception as they operate by a sibling policy and that’s all that’s left over after sibling priority. There is an assessment at 3 y.o. which assesses you and the child. If you have a ‘connection,’ you may have an easier time getting into it, so keep networking. The children mostly head towards Thomas’ Battersea after this school, but it is generally considered quite academic. The other kids go off to top schools like St. Paul’s or Latymer Upper. It has a focus on Sports and extracurricular activities like breakdancing and Lego. If your child is not that academic though, there might be a struggle to keep up with the academics. It is considered a ‘busy’ school, so intended for children who will thrive in a busy atmosphere. Seen as a school that offers the breadth of a boarding school, it has more of a British and European feel to it than some of the other more international schools.

Wetherby:

http://www.wetherbyschool.co.uk

‘If you get a spot at Wetherby, you don’t think, you just take it.’ This is one quote I have heard from a number of parents from this school. It has acquired a reputation for preparing the boys for the top prep schools including Westminster Under and Colet Court. It is located next to Pembridge Hall, and as one mum puts it, it is ‘rougher’ than its sister school Pembridge which is considered ‘softer’. So, for boys boys, who like a rough and tumble approach, this a great school. Some parents go at length to try to get a spot including buying chocolates for the Headmaster Mr. Snell. Of course some wonder whether ‘all boys’ schools is an outdated system that leaves boys incapable of speaking to girls, but if you have decided to go for single sex and from a purely academic point of view, there seems to be little competition with Wetherby. You might encounter some Tiger moms here, but it is London after all, and these parents are the ones striving for Oxbridge/The Ivys/Westminster/St. Pauls. Some think it can get highly competitive and intense, as one mum describes her son becoming very anxious at the 7+ exams but now that Wetherby Prep exists, there is less stress and tension for those parents who do think there is life outside Westminster Under/Colet Court.

Other:

Other important schools around are Bute House in Hammersmith, which some consider the ‘top’ girls school around, ‘the golden ticket’ into St. Paul’s Girls School, but others do confirm that there is some hothousing by the parents. Otherwise, it is a lovely school with great facilities, no homework/testing for the first few years. There is a ballot from 4 yo entry then an assessment system at 7+.

Southbank is for those parents only here for a few years and want to remain in the International schooling system and for children who are better off in a less academic environment. One mum whose son was never destined to be in an academically pressurised school is doing well in this school.

Then there are the French and American schools for those looking to move back home one day, both excellent.

Please let me know your (positive) thoughts on the above schools, reply below or by email: nottinghillyummymummy@hotmail.com

xx

NHYM

http://www.nottinghillyummymummy.com

@NHyummymummy

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Hotel Review: Hotel Arts, Barcelona

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All Photos in this Post courtesy of NHYM Copyright 2015.

Hotel Arts

Marina 19-21

Barcelona, Spain 08005

34 93 22 11 000

http://www.hotelartsbarcelona.com/en

Design & Architecture: 5 stars

Service: 5 stars

Food: 4.5 stars

Rooms: 4.5 stars

Value/Price: 4.5 stars

Overall 4.5 stars

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Ground floor entrance. NHYM 2015

Barcelona!

It had been almost twenty years since I was last in Barcelona (gasp! How old does that make me??) and all I remember is a blurry haze of alcohol-imbibed dancing in some shopping mall club whilst on a backpacking excursion throughout Europe fending off pickpockets, cockroaches and leches. Fast forward twenty years and a whole family in tow, traveling has a very different image: where can you go that is family-friendly and has some kind of culture where both kids and parents will be happy. Cue in Barcelona. It is architecturally one of the greatest cities where walking around is like visiting a museum but where you can stop to have ice-cream while admiring the great Gaudi masterpieces. So off we went to Barcelona this half term with two kids and checked into the Hotel Arts, one of the iconic hotel greats.

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High Tech Architecture. NHYM 2015

Design & Architecture

The Hotel Arts was built in 1994 and is an example of High Tech Architecture. It is 154 meters tall and has 483 rooms, so in all terms and purposes is a very big city hotel. Unlike some gigantic hotels, Fontainebleau in Miami comes to mind, it is tasteful and sophisticated. The Frank Gehry public sculpture shaped like a fish called Peix is situated right next to it and was built for the 1992 Olympic Games. It is one of the most famous pieces of public contemporary art.

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Champagne at arrival. NHYM 2015

The Service

One of the things I appreciate in 5 star luxury hotels are the incidental perks or freebees that make the experience so enjoyable. At the Hotel Arts, you are welcomed with a champagne glass at the lobby, a clever way to make people think that they are finally on holiday, or that it is time to finally relax. In the lobby, Laurent Perrier bubbly is at hand for the adults and red and green sweeties for the kids.

The service at the Hotel Arts is really top notch. The staff is nice, courteous, young and energetic. They have had the best hotel management training in Lausanne or Montreux. This is the kind of service that you get in Asia, which is considered the best in the world. It makes a difference, compared to that grumpy old man in France/Italy who fobs you off to your room as if he had something else better to do. There are family friendly staff that come up to the children regularly, trying to engage them to make them comfortable in new surroundings.

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View from our Room. NHYM 2015.

The Rooms

We had two interconnecting rooms on the 15th floor and they had a great view of the water and the next door harbour, pictured above. The rooms were really rather large when you consider most hotel rooms in big cities: think the Mercer/Tribeca New York that has tiny rooms which are at least double or triple the price of this room. The beds were as good as you can expect from any 5 star hotel and the bathrooms were very nice, although the sinks were showing some wear with rusting around the plug hole.

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Overall, we were very pleased with our room.

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Ice Cream Trolley by the pool. NHYM 2015

Child-Friendly

Of course, these days, I am more interested in how child-friendly a place is rather than where the table-dancing goes on. The Hotel Arts won some big points for how child-friendly it was. I mean, who doesn’t like the unlimited, free ice-cream trolley by the pool side? The kids were in heaven. Although there wasn’t a kids club, there was a small child area at the breakfast restaurant where the kids played a whole morning (it is for very young children and it is tiny so don’t have high expectations, but my kids loved it). There is also a large pool, although it was unheated so they opted instead for the jacuzzi in the below gardens. They also had a Halloween treasure hunt, with spider lollies as prizes. What else could a child ask for?

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Gardens and Terraces. NHYM 2015. 

Overall 

This was a great hotel and a great base to visit Barcelona, with its seafront full of cool restaurants below it. Some people have gripes, including the food at the tapas restaurant but we didn’t have a chance to eat there, we were too busy trying out various other restos. The breakfast buffet was great, which to me is imperative for a stellar hotel. The other complaint is that it does show some signs of wear although it was renovated in 2006, but with its amazing service, it is easy to overlook that. Finally, they charge €25 for internet per day, but we were exempt with the deal we got. Speaking of deals, since we came end of October and got a deal, the rates were incredibly reasonable. Comparing that to a hotel I went to recently in Washington DC which charged $700 a night and the room looked like a 3 star motel room, this seemed like a bargain.

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Frank Gehry Fish. NHYM 2015. 

We loved this hotel and were even more surprised by how great it was with kids. Highly recommended and to put on your to do list when in Barcelona.

xx

NHYM

http://www.nottinghillyummymummy.com

@NHyummymummy

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Chill out Area. NHYM 2015. 

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