Reviews

Review: Private Member’s Club, The Arts Club

Quote of the Day: ‘Hello! Is it me you’re looking for?’

Arts club (Photo courtesy of NHYM Copyright 2014)

The Arts Club

40 Dover Street

London W1S 4NP

02074998581

http://www.theartsclub.co.uk

Food: 4.25 stars

Design: 4.5 stars

Ambience: 4 stars

Service: 4 stars

Value for Money: 3.5/4 stars

Overall: 4.25 stars

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(Ground floor restaurant. Photo courtesy of the internet)

Lately, I have been going to the Arts Club on a weekly or biweekly basis, after not going for almost a year. But then all of a sudden, everyone seems to want to go; guests from out of town, girls dinners or those wanting to try Kyubi, the – relatively – new delicious Japanese on the roof, which is now one of my firm favourites. Perhaps it’s a backlash to the Chiltern Firehouse craze and just wanting the simplicity of an easy reservation made on Friday morning for Friday night, and a predictably good meal (which is not always the case at Chiltern). The great thing about the Arts Club is that you never know what kind of night you’re going to have or who you’re going to sit next to, which creates a never-ending curiosity. Last week, I had Lionel Ritchie sitting next to me. I had to stop myself from singing ‘Hello! Is it me you’re looking for?’ and telling him all the great memories I’ve had with his songs as a young, hot-blooded teenager. With celebrities, you always feel a familiarity and intimacy that they of course  sense as ‘obsessive crazy fan.’ Luckily, I stopped myself just in time. In any case, at the Arts Club, you never know if you’ll have a night of octogenarian, zimmer-frame grannies & grandpas, arms dealers from somewhere far East or South, Russian billionaires, Mark Francis Vandelli of Made In Chelsea (actually, he is there nightly, usually at the ground floor bar), Naomi Campbell or some kind of HRH Beatrice/Eugenie/Philip/Harry.

The Club

The Arts Club is housed in a beautiful building on Dover Street (home to Mahiki, Mayfair Club and the new Victoria Beckham store). It was co-founded by Charles Dickens in 1863 and has had a myriad of artists and patrons guests and members over the years such as Turgenev, Rodin and Degas. It is currently over 4 different floors: the basement Club Nouveau Nightclub has heard impromptu guests like Gwenyth Paltrow and Ronnie Woods performing and is now advertising private concerts with performers like Will.i.am and Lauryn Hill. The ground floor restaurant, the Brasserie, is a glamorous, art deco room with a clientele mix of everything from Joan Collins, Roman Abramovic to Pamela Anderson look-alikes. There is a lot of trout here, no, not on the menu, just in the form of trout pouts. The outdoor seating area is a garden of delight, for balmy summer evenings.

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(Outdoor garden. Photo courtesy of the internet)

The bar on the first floor is a rounded bar leading to another dining area, with a similar but shorter menu from the ground floor restaurant. It tends to have a slightly younger crowd, full of girls dinners, hedge fund managers, and women wearing more porn-than-prude clothing. My inner granny self wants to cover them with a pashmina and tell them to go home to a nice cup of tea. Finally, the rooftop is home to Kyubi, a Japanese with offerings similar to Nobu/Zuma. The best part of this restaurant is the roof-terrace area, which takes you to a rooftop Riad in Morocco. Except with sashimi instead of tagine.

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(Roof terrace at Kyubi. Photo courtesy of the Internet)

The Food

The menu at the Arts Club, created by one of the chefs from ‘La Petite Maison,’ offers some great staple dishes with great flavours. If you like La Petite Maison, you will most likely like the food here. The menu is extensive with about 12 starters, an entire section for shellfish (oysters and lobster), two types of tartares, and another 16 main dishes. This is a place you can come to over and over again without ever getting too bored too quickly of the menu, which is a plus for a member’s clubs. The food beats the Electric and 5 Hertford Street hands down purely on food. Some of my favourites are the escargots, yellowtail ceviche, and green bean starters, the steak tartare, the Club salad, and the herb crusted veal chop (delicious, the only place I actually allow myself to indulge in a poor-little-veal-meal). There are better-than-other dishes, so it’s just a matter of finding the ones that you fancy. It is piggy-bank-breaking expensive, so save those pennies.

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(Toro. Photo courtesy of the Internet)

The food at Kyubi is also delicious, featuring mini taco-type starter bites which are divine, the tuna avocado one is definitely one to order. The new stream sashimi, with different kinds of salmon and tuna sashimi with yuzu and citrus flavours are all mouth-watering (really, my mouth is salivating as I write this). The lobster tempura is worth it just for the visual sculpture of fried-noodle coral. You just have to see it. The plain sashimi is not their best asset, so i wouldn’t boast too much about it. The vegetable skewers of asparagus and mushrooms are similar to the ones at Zuma, I could eat them as a vegetarian meal with a little rice on the side.

The Ambience

Ah, the ambience. Like I previously mentioned, it is a revolving door of multi-cultural nationalities and personalities. Arabs mingle with Jews, Russians compete with Americans for how loud they can be, the Chinese and Nepalese (or wherever they were from) are either dressed in jeans and T-shirts or Chanel, the Nigerians like the gospel Sunday brunch. Every Super Rich nationality in London is represented here. It is what you could call a global, moneyed club, that only requires connections and a plush bank account for entry. Let’s say it how it is. This club is mostly for Art Patron members these days rather than for artists. The club was renovated in 2011 when its membership and bank account was dwindling to attract a glitzier, glamorous, wealthy crowd to inject ‘modern money’ into the club. With Gwenyth and her friends promoting the club in 2011, it was guaranteed to attract attention. Still, the club offers lectures in how to collect art, private views to the Royal Academy or the Frieze, and talks about fine wine and fashion (I recently missed a talk by Diane Von Furstenburg). There are even events for children, like Easter Parties, circus and painting events.

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(Club Nouveau. Photo courtesy of the Internet)

Apart from some wonderful events – that I always mean to go to but never go to – the people-watching is just conversation-stopping. Victoria Beckham just recently celebrated one of her 40th birthday dinners there with Gordon Ramsay et. al. Beyonce and Jay Z came as well last time they were in London. And then there are moments when you see the clientele and wonder ‘just where in the world are they from?’ There are women who are wearing not much more than Miley Cyrus on a good day. There are men who look like they are making some dodgy business dealings involving governments, commodities, arms and pipelines. It is a spectacle of cosmopolitan London, for those wanting to keep their dealings behind closed doors.

The Verdict

The Arts Club is an artfully decorated member’s club oozing glamour and coolness, in each of its restaurants, bars, and nightclub. The United Nations clientele provides endless entertainment, intriguing, beguiling and sometimes plain bizarre (Lady Gaga has been a guest). But the food is grown up and sophisticated modern European and modern Japanese at Kyubi. The best nights are during the week, in my opinion, with less B&T crowds. Soon, a 16 room boutique hotel will be opening to cater to the international overseas clientele who have memberships but don’t actually live in London. For a swanky and glitzy night out, the Arts Club rarely fails to deliver, so bring your out-of-town friends or parents for a night of people-watching and gawping, all for the cost of a small island in the Pacific.

Celebrities at the Arts Club, London, UK

(Lady Gaga outside the Arts Club. Photo courtesy of the Internet)

xx

NHYM

http://www.nottinghillyummymummy.com

@NHyummymummy

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Social Commentary

Notting Hill Nurseries & The Rise of the Notting Hill Yummy Mummy

Baby chic

I was first introduced to the world of Notting Hill Yummy Mummies 10 years ago when I was still in the world of Little Miss Notting Hill (www.littlemissnottinghill.com), brunching at the old Electric, Sunday afternoons at the Westbourne, and late nights at Montgomery Place, blissfully unaware of the darker side of Notting Hill. I met ‘Francesca’ through an ex-P.E. boyfriend, who ended up being instrumental in my rise to being a Notting Hill Yummy Mummy. She taught me everything there is to know about motherhood: ‘1. Get Mr. Teoh on the phone as soon as you are pregnant and book your suite at the Portland Hotel & Spa (for those of you who don’t know, it really is a hospital, but their concierge/bellhop is very good, breakfast is 5 star, and request the Dutch Bowen therapist, she is lovely) 2. The day he/she is born, send the sperm-donor to the gates of ‘that’ school with the to-die-for school uniforms (Wetherby/Pembridge Hall), application in hand and stop by ‘the’ nursery on the same day (one of the ‘famous five’). 3. Discipline, Persistence, Perseverance and Consistency (I wasn’t sure if she meant that for me or for my children, but it worked for both). That’s all you need to know about parenting,’ she assured me. I followed all of her advice and here I am today, a Notting Hill Yummy Mummy.

Only after the fact did I realise how much time and money Francesca saved me. I avoided hours of research, headaches wondering which nursery to send M to, visiting all the below nurseries, or paying a ‘school consultant’ hundreds of pounds to research the nurseries before doing all of it again myself . I once almost veered off track and asked about a Bilingual nursery, but my Alpha mum friend told me ‘Don’t do it. Your child will be put in the Z class at Pembridge/Wetherby and that’s the end of it. You can forget about Oxbridge.’ ‘What’s the Z class?’ I asked wide-eyed, innocent and ignorant. ‘It’s for the slow kids that the teachers ignore.’ After that, I thought it best to take Francesca’s advice, and do what I was told.
The first day of nursery, nervous, scouring for new friends, wearing a new outfit, and some crying involved, I felt 7 again on the first day of school, while my child was happily playing with the toy kitchen. (Thankfully, I wasn’t aware that some parents were googling each other, otherwise I would have really lost it) but all has turned out just fine. Here’s my piece of advice for new mums choosing a nursery: stop giving yourselves headaches, women! They are all great nurseries! Which is why everyone bribes and steals to get in, but each has its own personality, which is what I will focus on below. Once in, you just need to stay away from the competitive Alpha and Tiger mums, be polite to the billionaires (you never know when you’ll be needing their private jet) and somewhere in there, in every nursery, you will find clever, interesting, genuine parents that you may become friends with. Just make sure you send in an application as soon as your child is born. That is imperative. If not, send them cards and photos of your child each month, cookies may help, or pretend that you’ve just moved to London, cry a little, and they will take pity on you (There are always spaces once offers are declined. This strategy works well at Acorn).
So here I am paying it back by spreading Francesca’s wisdom and giving you the ‘real’ low-down on the ‘Famous Five’ Notting Hill Nurseries. For Free.

‘FAMOUS FIVE’ NOTTING HILL NURSERIES

‘A is for… A-List ACORN NURSERY’
Best for: Rock ‘n’ Roll Royalty and the Kool Kids
McCartney and Jagger are common last names at this nursery. A-List Hollywood actors send their kids here when they are filming their latest flick in London. Film directors, news presenters and politicians all send their kids here. You have to be ready to mingle with the fash-pack, as you will have to compete with shoe designers, who probably design their children’s own shoes, and a famous fashion designer with rock royalty genes whose latest very cute, kids see-through waterproof raincoat will put your child’s Gap raincoat to shame. But not all fashion designers are welcome. One famous A-list fashion designer (one half of an A-list ‘Golden’ couple) was rumoured not to have gotten a place because when she visited she wore big, oversized sunglasses and never smiled (I wouldn’t smile either if I only are one green apple a day). Madonna apparently was rejected and Richard Curtis may have based the Christmas Play in his film ‘Love Actually’ on this nursery’s Christmas play. There are ‘Daddy mornings’ which involve daddies coming for a coffee morning to encourage daddy and child bonding (which really just highlights the fact that these daddies need their assistants to schedule me-and-child-time in their busy work schedules). A whole article in the Telegraph was written about this nursery in 2004 which will give you a flavour of this nursery, but also of all the nurseries in the area: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1459538/The-only-education-you-need-is-Acorn-and-Oxford.html.
Ofsted rating: Good (2011). http://www.ofsted.gov.uk/inspection-reports/find-inspection-report/provider/CARE/105673

‘M is for… Mini Royals at the MINORS NURSERY’
Best for: English Royalty and Wannabe English Royalty
This nursery was made famous by Lady Di dropping off her precious princes William and Harry at Minors Nursery in the eighties. The nursery is rather on the small side with little outdoor space and the toys are so pristine and clean, they look like they’ve never been used. The parents say that this nursery is ‘all about the children’ so there is less parent-competition around once you are in (the competition remains behind closed doors during the application process here). There is a new headmistress who started a few years ago, whom some parents feel is rather cold and on the snobby side, especially when she explains that Minors stands out for ‘not being a nursery in a dirty church hall’ (what’s wrong with a dirty church hall? They probably had more fun there and that’s probably where most of these mums went to nursery). One parent given the tour of the nursery felt that the children seemed a bit snotty (not the cold-virus-nose-snotty kind but the spoiled-brat kind) and the girls were all in expensive princess dresses (not the Disney kind, more the Melissa Wyndham kind), which scared them off.
Ofsted report: Outstanding (2011). http://www.ofsted.gov.uk/inspection-reports/find-inspection-report/provider/CARE/EY295790

‘S is for… Sexy Dads and Stepford wives at STRAWBERRY FIELDS’
Best for: The PTA mum and hot-daddy-watching/drooling
Strawberry fields earned its reputation some years ago as having the best-looking-dad-of-all-nursery-dads. ‘He just walked by…’ one mum would say, without even mentioning his name, and all the other mums will sigh in unison. This was one good enough reason to send your kids here, but I will try to remain unbiased and will fill another whole post on the virtues on this very famous ex-football player as the ‘World’s Best Dad’ another time (who by the way does the drop off and pick up more than any other dad, takes his daughter to Granger for lunch after nursery, and then drops her off to playdates and BabyBop). As one woman manning a booth at the Christmas fair was overheard saying ‘Every woman should have an accessory like that.’ But it’s the mummies to be afraid of at this nursery. There are some who send their nannies to stand in line for them at the Christmas play and then use their twiglet, sharpened elbows to bulldozer through the line 10 minutes before the start to ensure front row seats. Then there are the panic-attack-inducing mums who organise the Christmas fair (the Christmas Fair deserves another blog to itself). Apart from those details, the nursery itself is wonderful, the staff is strict but loving, the children are adorable, the nursery feels spacious and welcoming, having the use of the large adjacent church hall for physical education, christmas plays, easter hat parades and farm animal visits. Having said all that, the parents are extremely involved, if that is your thing, and there are parents’ nights out at the Lonsdale, lunches at Osteria, and Pub Quizzes all organised by the Class and School Representatives and there are some lovely international parents to have coffee with at Kitchen & Pantry before or after pick up and drop off.
Ofsted: Outstanding (2013). http://www.ofsted.gov.uk/inspection-reports/find-inspection-report/provider/CARE/EY456623

‘R is for… Respite or Rejects? at ROLFE’S’
Best for: Those who are just afraid of all of the above. This nursery is part of the Alpha Plus Group, which has Pembridge Hall, Wetherby and Minors in its roster, so comes from a very good pedigree. Rolfe’s is the opposite of the Minors, with children running around in the big open area on the ground floor, playing with sand, and getting their hands dirty in the outdoor space. It all seemed like good fun. It is still very good, the parents love it and the new nursery premise is brand new, but for some the space has lost its charm and coziness of the Ken Park Road space, where it used to be. Some of the mums choose Rolfe’s in hope that they are shielding their children from the Alpha mums and Bling from the other nurseries, but they can’t escape. There are still chauffeur-driven children being dropped off, mums who give Harrod’s presents to the teachers at Christmas and mums asking other mums ‘So, are you teaching your child Mandarin yet?’
Ofsted: Good (2013). http://www.ofsted.gov.uk/inspection-reports/find-inspection-report/provider/CARE/EY448774

‘L is for… La La Land at LADBROKE SQUARE MONTESSORI’
Best for: The Anti-Bling Notting Hill Hippy Chick
For the remaining Hippy Chicks who live in Notting Hill and decidedly want to stay away from the Hedge Fund/Banker/Bling crowd (although don’t be duped, there are still children living in £13 million mansions backing onto communal gardens), most opt for Ladbroke Square Montessori. There is less competition, so it is easier to get in and is described as a ‘warm and happy place.’ It is not known for its hard discipline, but more for its carefree approach, unlike some of the other nurseries above mentioned. When touring the nursery, one parent asked: ‘How do you discipline a child if one child hits another child?’ ‘We ask the child to apologise to the other child.’ ‘What if they don’t want to apologise?’ ‘We encourage them to say sorry but if they don’t want to say sorry, we don’t make them.’ So, if you’re OK with that, I am sure your child will love this nursery.
Ofsted: Outstanding (2011). http://www.ofsted.gov.uk/inspection-reports/find-inspection-report/provider/CARE/105707

xx

NHYM

http://www.nottinghillyummymummy.com

twitter: @NHyummymummy

p.s. Check out my mention in this Saturday Times Magazine 30/8/14 in the articles on London Nurseries & Schools!!! xx

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